Baby Beau,
We made it! We survived a year. Once again, I am surprised at how fast another year has come and gone. You have delighted our hearts every single day. This time last year we were preparing our home and hearts for one last baby. We were anxiously waiting for you to make a boy into a brother and a girl into a sister. And what a sweet, sweet blessing it has been to watch them care for you with joy.
Before you arrived there were so many things we didn't know yet. We didn't know the color of your eyes, the texture of your hair, the tone of your skin, the shape of your nose or lips or chin. Would you have long fingers like your sister? Would your belly button be an outie like your brother? It was all a surprise we couldn't wait to discover. You also came with your own surprises tucked deep inside. A teeny tiny surprise.... a beautiful extra chromosome. The doctors suspected it right away because of your almond shaped eyes. And when they told me their suspicions I didn't want to believe them.
As I held you and watched you in the NICU over the next few days I began to see what they saw. I saw a beautiful baby boy determined to thrive and grow and develop. We are so lucky. We are lucky because you do not have any heart defects. You tolerated feedings well without exhaustion. You rocked your way right out of the hospital to find your way home on Independence Day. That irony is not lost on me! I have a feeling that you are going to continue to remind me that you will be independent. You need opportunities to be independent. You will amaze us as you conquer life. You are a front row seat to independence fireworks each and every day.
I anticipate your next milestone just like a child sitting in the grass on a sticky July night waiting on the big show. A little run down from all the busy-ness of the day, yet watching...waiting for the beautiful explosion in the sky. Just when I think it is not going to happen and let disappointment and doubt sneak in....BOOM! YOU SHOW UP. Another milestone checked off the list...sitting unassisted or crawling, drinking from a straw or feeding yourself, clapping your hands or waving hello. These milestones seem tiny to most. They were tiny to me the first time around, but baby boy I am SOAKING YOU UP! As the "great poet" Katy Perry once said, "Baby, you're a firework! Come on show 'em what you're worth. Make 'em go 'Oh, oh, Oh!' as you shoot across the sky-y-y". And once the moment has passed, I can't believe I ever doubted you wouldn't do it and it wouldn't be just as beautiful and amazing as it was the last time. Show me a kid who just used a pincer grasp for the first time and I will show you a proud mama.
I could keep going on forever about how proud I am to be your mom and how adorable you are, but everyone knows that already. What I really want you to know is that I would not change a thing. Not one thing about you. Do I worry? Of course I do...I wouldn't be a mom if I didn't worry about your future. But guess what? I worry about your brother and sister too. I would be lying if I said when I see what other kids your age are doing I instantly do a comparison in my head. Is Beau doing that yet? I am constantly making mental notes: questions for the therapist, purposeful play ideas, toys to purchase to encourage your development, books to read, songs to sing, signs to learn, words to practice...the list goes on and on. Once again, I do this running mental note thing for your brother and sister too. And so does every other mother on the planet. I will continue to do that forever I suppose and that is okay. We are all more alike than different. What I want you to know, though...The thing that I need you to know more than any other thing I ever teach you is that I want YOU. I want Beau every sunrise and sunset. I want Beau in the middle of every messy meal. I want Beau when you are tired and fussy and you just won't GIVE IT UP ALREADY and GO TO SLEEP. I want to welcome every therapy or service in the future because YOU! We have celebrated you for 365 days now and we will continue to celebrate. We will continue BECAUSE BEAU. If I could go back 365 days and choose any baby born that day in that hospital, in that city, in that state, in this country, or on this Earth it would be Beau Bradley Turner every single time. I choose you every day no matter what. Happy Birthday to you.
With the love of a million sloppy kisses,
Mommy
We made it! We survived a year. Once again, I am surprised at how fast another year has come and gone. You have delighted our hearts every single day. This time last year we were preparing our home and hearts for one last baby. We were anxiously waiting for you to make a boy into a brother and a girl into a sister. And what a sweet, sweet blessing it has been to watch them care for you with joy.
Before you arrived there were so many things we didn't know yet. We didn't know the color of your eyes, the texture of your hair, the tone of your skin, the shape of your nose or lips or chin. Would you have long fingers like your sister? Would your belly button be an outie like your brother? It was all a surprise we couldn't wait to discover. You also came with your own surprises tucked deep inside. A teeny tiny surprise.... a beautiful extra chromosome. The doctors suspected it right away because of your almond shaped eyes. And when they told me their suspicions I didn't want to believe them.
As I held you and watched you in the NICU over the next few days I began to see what they saw. I saw a beautiful baby boy determined to thrive and grow and develop. We are so lucky. We are lucky because you do not have any heart defects. You tolerated feedings well without exhaustion. You rocked your way right out of the hospital to find your way home on Independence Day. That irony is not lost on me! I have a feeling that you are going to continue to remind me that you will be independent. You need opportunities to be independent. You will amaze us as you conquer life. You are a front row seat to independence fireworks each and every day.
I anticipate your next milestone just like a child sitting in the grass on a sticky July night waiting on the big show. A little run down from all the busy-ness of the day, yet watching...waiting for the beautiful explosion in the sky. Just when I think it is not going to happen and let disappointment and doubt sneak in....BOOM! YOU SHOW UP. Another milestone checked off the list...sitting unassisted or crawling, drinking from a straw or feeding yourself, clapping your hands or waving hello. These milestones seem tiny to most. They were tiny to me the first time around, but baby boy I am SOAKING YOU UP! As the "great poet" Katy Perry once said, "Baby, you're a firework! Come on show 'em what you're worth. Make 'em go 'Oh, oh, Oh!' as you shoot across the sky-y-y". And once the moment has passed, I can't believe I ever doubted you wouldn't do it and it wouldn't be just as beautiful and amazing as it was the last time. Show me a kid who just used a pincer grasp for the first time and I will show you a proud mama.
I could keep going on forever about how proud I am to be your mom and how adorable you are, but everyone knows that already. What I really want you to know is that I would not change a thing. Not one thing about you. Do I worry? Of course I do...I wouldn't be a mom if I didn't worry about your future. But guess what? I worry about your brother and sister too. I would be lying if I said when I see what other kids your age are doing I instantly do a comparison in my head. Is Beau doing that yet? I am constantly making mental notes: questions for the therapist, purposeful play ideas, toys to purchase to encourage your development, books to read, songs to sing, signs to learn, words to practice...the list goes on and on. Once again, I do this running mental note thing for your brother and sister too. And so does every other mother on the planet. I will continue to do that forever I suppose and that is okay. We are all more alike than different. What I want you to know, though...The thing that I need you to know more than any other thing I ever teach you is that I want YOU. I want Beau every sunrise and sunset. I want Beau in the middle of every messy meal. I want Beau when you are tired and fussy and you just won't GIVE IT UP ALREADY and GO TO SLEEP. I want to welcome every therapy or service in the future because YOU! We have celebrated you for 365 days now and we will continue to celebrate. We will continue BECAUSE BEAU. If I could go back 365 days and choose any baby born that day in that hospital, in that city, in that state, in this country, or on this Earth it would be Beau Bradley Turner every single time. I choose you every day no matter what. Happy Birthday to you.
With the love of a million sloppy kisses,
Mommy
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