Mommin' this Mess

So, as promised this blog is also going to cover food.  Because I love food almost as much as I love my kids.  I'm kidding!!!!...... kind of.  I am going to do my best to share with you what I'm cookin' every now and then.  We always strive to eat at home as much as possible, but we could always improve with that task!  I tried a Pinterest recipe tonight and it was delicious.  I even got brave enough to make HOMEMADE ENCHILADA SAUCE. I am so glad I did!! It was delicious.  Click HERE for the recipe!

What is one thing you said you would NEVER do?   At the time you said never, to do "the thing" would never work. Maybe because you thought it was weird or useless.  Or maybe logistically it could not work in any shape, form, or fashion.  Maybe it was a role you could not imagine filling.  Maybe you said nope and nada to something because you knew it was entirely out of your comfort zone or desires.  Whatever the reasons are, we all have our "Nope, not ever.  NEVERS."  But you know what they say, right?  And then something happens or a series of some things happen and your heart begins to soften to "the thing".  Instead of shaking your head no, you are now nodding and understanding WHY people do the thing.  You have empathy and understanding, but your answer is still NEVER FOR ME.  Some time passes and the next thing you know, you are kinda, sorta, maybe considering "the thing" for yourself (and it makes you very uncomfortable...

so, where did I leave off?? Oh yes, Norman had finally made it to the hospital, heard the news of suspected Down syndrome, and rushed away to meet our Beau..... I really can't give you detailed play by play over the next few days because my memory of this time is very foggy. But I can tell you what I do remember. Crying. Lots of crying. Crying because there was this tiny baby in the NICU that has an unfair disadvantage to life (or so I thought). Crying because the life we planned as a family of five had just taken an unplanned direction. Crying because of my crippling fear that my other 2 children would miss out on life to the fullest because everything our future held would revolve around Down syndrome. I was sad. I was mad. I was scared. I was lost. I cried if anyone looked at me too long. I was grieving and didn't even realize it. Grieving the life that was "supposed to be".  Anyone who has experienced grief knows that it is absolutely necessary to begin healing....